Mark Twain Quotes

- Notable Mark Twain Quotes Index -

Born: November 30, 1835, Florida, Missouri, USA
Birth Country: USA
Died: Redding, Connecticut, USA, April 21, 1910
Occupation: Author

1.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
- Mark Twain

2.
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
- Mark Twain

3.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

4.
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
- Mark Twain

5.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain

6.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
- Mark Twain

7.
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
- Mark Twain

8.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
- Mark Twain

9.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

10.
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
- Mark Twain

11.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain

12.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

13.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain

14.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
- Mark Twain

15.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain

16.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain

17.
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
- Mark Twain

18.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
- Mark Twain

19.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

20.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain

21.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
- Mark Twain

22.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
- Mark Twain

23.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

24.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
- Mark Twain

25.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

26.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
- Mark Twain

27.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
- Mark Twain

28.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

29.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain

30.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
- Mark Twain

31.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
- Mark Twain

32.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
- Mark Twain

33.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

34.
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
- Mark Twain

35.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain

36.
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
- Mark Twain

37.
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain

38.
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain

39.
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
- Mark Twain

40.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

41.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain

42.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
- Mark Twain

43.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
- Mark Twain

44.
It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
- Mark Twain

45.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- Mark Twain

46.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
- Mark Twain

47.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
- Mark Twain

48.
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
- Mark Twain

49.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

50.
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
- Mark Twain

51.
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
- Mark Twain

52.
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
- Mark Twain

53.
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
- Mark Twain

54.
My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
- Mark Twain

55.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- Mark Twain

56.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
- Mark Twain

57.
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
- Mark Twain

58.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

59.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
- Mark Twain

60.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

61.
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
- Mark Twain

62.
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
- Mark Twain

63.
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
- Mark Twain

64.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
- Mark Twain

65.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
- Mark Twain

66.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

67.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain

68.
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
- Mark Twain

69.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain

70.
The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
- Mark Twain

71.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Mark Twain

72.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

73.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- Mark Twain

74.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
- Mark Twain

75.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
- Mark Twain

76.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow there is no humor in Heaven.
- Mark Twain

77.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
- Mark Twain

78.
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
- Mark Twain

79.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
- Mark Twain

80.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.
- Mark Twain

81.
To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
- Mark Twain

82.
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
- Mark Twain

83.
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
- Mark Twain

84.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain

85.
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
- Mark Twain

86.
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

87.
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
- Mark Twain

88.
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
- Mark Twain

89.
When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

90.
When in doubt tell the truth.
- Mark Twain

91.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
- Mark Twain

92.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

93.
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

94.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

95.
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
- Mark Twain

96.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
- Mark Twain

97.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
- Mark Twain

98.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
- Mark Twain

99.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark Twain

100.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
- Mark Twain

Quotes by Mark Twain

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