Dennis Miller Quotes

- Notable Dennis Miller Quotes Index -

Born: November 3, 1953, Pittsburgh, USA
Birth Country: USA
Occupation: TV show

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
- Dennis Miller

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
- Dennis Miller

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.
- Dennis Miller

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.
- Dennis Miller

I rant, therefore I am.
- Dennis Miller

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
- Dennis Miller

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.
- Dennis Miller

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
- Dennis Miller

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
- Dennis Miller

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.
- Dennis Miller

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
- Dennis Miller

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.
- Dennis Miller

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
- Dennis Miller

Quotes by Dennis Miller

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